This article is an excerpt from “Single people are fed up with dating apps and returning to the real world to meet their match” published on May 30, 2024 by Samantha Edwards, originally available for The Globe and Mail.
Give speed dating a spin
Speed dating is on the rebound. “You get to meet a range of different people. Sure, you only have seven minutes, but you practise your skills and it gets you out of your shell,” says Dayana Romero, a therapist and dating coach in Hamilton, Ont. Companies such as Flare Events and My Cheeky Date operate in multiple cities across Canada, holding hetero, queer and bisexual events for various age groups. While speed dating tends to attract people of various backgrounds – imagine you’re on a subway car and anyone within a 10-year age radius is fair game – some events are more tailored.
Go to a singles mixer
If you Google “singles mixer” plus any city, you’ll find a variety of events based around everything from books to Buddhism. Others are specifically courting singles facing swiping fatigue, such as the app Thursday, which organizes weekly pop-up events at bars in Toronto, Edmonton, Montreal and Ottawa. The location is kept secret until the day of the event.
Join clubs, social groups and meet-ups
Whether you’re into chess, hiking, anime, birdwatching or whatever niche interest, there’s likely a Facebook group or club in your city dedicated to it. Romero recommends finding these groups online and joining their real-life events. If you’re feeling shy, bring along a friend. Everyone in attendance may not be single, but as Romero says, these interactions could lead to a potential partner.
Work with a matchmaker
Matchmaking has always been common among some religions, but in recent years, organized courtship has gone increasingly secular with matchmakers in Canada reporting explosive growth in clients. Even Tinder jumped on the trend this past October when it launched a matchmaking feature that allows friends to suggest matches for users. Hiring your own personal cupid isn’t cheap – services vary from $90 to $9,000. Some companies are leveraging AI to make matchmaking more affordable, including the speed-dating company Flare, which uses an algorithm to filter through profiles and identify the best matches in its pool of singles.
Be brave and approach someone in the wild
Ever since the pandemic, Romero says she’s noticed that many people’s social skills have atrophied. She works with her clients to build up communication skills, and overall self-confidence, so they can approach people in real life.
Sue McGarvie, a sex and relationship therapist in Ottawa, gives her clients similar advice: Go out there and start talking to people. “I always tell women, you’ve got to make the first move. All the rules are out the window. This is a brave new world,” says McGarvie, who mostly works with singles who are 40 and older.
Approaching someone in the wild can be intimidating , but in a time of swiping fatigue, you may be surprised how many people will be receptive to being passed a phone number scribbled on a napkin, says McGarvie.